Comments on: What Are the Toxins? http://www.deathbysuburb.net/2006/01/11/what-are-the-toxins.html Keep the suburbs from killing your soul. Sun, 14 Feb 2010 00:30:07 -0500 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: Administrator http://www.deathbysuburb.net/2006/01/11/what-are-the-toxins.html/comment-page-1#comment-10 Administrator Wed, 08 Feb 2006 00:46:57 +0000 http://www.deathbysuburb.net/2006/01/11/what-are-the-toxins.html#comment-10 that is killer: "My kids should not experience disappointment or humbling experiences." wow... What are we teaching our kids by always stepping in and making it all good for them? that is killer:

“My kids should not experience disappointment or humbling experiences.”

wow…

What are we teaching our kids by always stepping in and making it all good for them?

]]> By: Tim Barg http://www.deathbysuburb.net/2006/01/11/what-are-the-toxins.html/comment-page-1#comment-8 Tim Barg Wed, 08 Feb 2006 00:41:09 +0000 http://www.deathbysuburb.net/2006/01/11/what-are-the-toxins.html#comment-8 This jockeying for position only escalates as the kids move to travelling leagues. The stakes are higher and so is the glory. I've found myself having to swallow hard when my son tried out for the "elite" team but got placed on the "somewhat less that elite" team. "Surely the decision makers were not looking for the right things in a player" I think to myself. Or maybe I'm just a bit biased :) Either way, disappointment happens and the response to disappointment is what builds character. I think there is a toxin that goes something like this: "My kids should not experience disappointment or humbling experiences". Nobody wants to see their kids suffer, but I'll tell you I have watched my kids deal with disappointment - stuff that I would have done anything to spare them from - and I have been amazed to see the growth in character that results from swallowing hard and dealing with the hand that was dealt. And, in hindsight I'm glad I have bitten my tongue and I regret times where I have stepped in to help only to rob my child of a growth opportunity. We can coach them thru those times rather than rescue them. This jockeying for position only escalates as the kids move to travelling leagues. The stakes are higher and so is the glory. I’ve found myself having to swallow hard when my son tried out for the “elite” team but got placed on the “somewhat less that elite” team. “Surely the decision makers were not looking for the right things in a player” I think to myself. Or maybe I’m just a bit biased :) Either way, disappointment happens and the response to disappointment is what builds character. I think there is a toxin that goes something like this: “My kids should not experience disappointment or humbling experiences”. Nobody wants to see their kids suffer, but I’ll tell you I have watched my kids deal with disappointment – stuff that I would have done anything to spare them from – and I have been amazed to see the growth in character that results from swallowing hard and dealing with the hand that was dealt. And, in hindsight I’m glad I have bitten my tongue and I regret times where I have stepped in to help only to rob my child of a growth opportunity. We can coach them thru those times rather than rescue them.

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