Bailing Out of the ‘Burbs
Post a responseThe basic premise of Death by Suburb is that while the suburban environment may at times be toxic to your faith, the answer isn’t to flee. The answer is to stay. The answer is to figure it out. To build into your life the key spiritual practices that help us stay awake to the work of God in this world.
The alternative, I guess, is to say that to experience the fullness of God, you need either to move to the country where the pressures appear to be less or move to another place that may be more friendly to faith. For those who can afford it, that’s an option: You can either buy a second home in the rural or move there permanently.
But what about those who will be forever rooted in suburbia. Are we doomed to a thin or thinner spirituality?
I didn’t realize when I wrote the book that the premise that Jesus can be found in the ‘burbs would be controversial. Apparently, it is. I’ve received several angry emails from people who read the book and disagreed with the core premise. In fact, if you go to Amazon.com and pull up my book, you can scroll down and read a short but very angry review of my book. The person is from Wheaton, where I live. I don’t know him or her, because the name associated with the review is, apparently, not real.
I’d like your comments: What is wrong with the theology of staying in the ‘burbs? Am I letting people off the hook? Doesn’t Jesus require a more radical form of discipleship? Does Jesus want EVERYONE who desires to live more reflectly to sell their house and move to India or Wisconsin?
Is there a lower and higher path of Christian spirituality? And only those who commit to getting out will receive the “Well done, my good and faithful servant” when they see their Maker?
June 26th, 2006 at 4:51 pm
Dave –
Met you in Moraga, you signed the book Thanks for coming.
After raising 4 kids, half the Schooling done here, we will be facing the inevitable decision, ”
….”Fight or Flight”.
Spent the weekend with close friends who moved their homebuilding business up into the Sierra Mountains, (he bought a red corvette last year — fun car … I guess). All four of their Kids and their families now live on the same “Block” with them. Seems like “The Wonderful life”. 30 minutes to Kirkwood ski area, 1 hour to Heavenly, South Lake Tahoe.
Tempting …. Tempting…. “Fight or Flight”
Tempting, ……Tempting,
You should get an Introduction from Moraga Valley Presbyterian to Mike McClennahan, now Sr. Pastor at Solano Beach Presbyterian — he really builds youth groups and gives the kids “out of Suburbs life experiences” and helps them process it. He left behind a Sr. High youth group of 300 he started from Scratch, when he took the Sr. Pastor Position at Solano Beach Presbyterian.
Pastor Mike & his Lovely and talented wife Amy are on the Board at Amore Mexico Mission. A great place to spend a week with 300 high school youth and parents. Amore Ministries
Pastor Jim has given your book high marks in the sermons –
“Finding G_d in Pleasantville”. Starting with “The Thicker Life”
http://www.mvpctoday.org/messages.html
Blessings to you and the lovely and Talented Jana.
Sincerely,
Randall
June 27th, 2006 at 9:54 am
Personally, ‘Death by Suburb’ has been a great, longed for, read for me. My husband and I moved to the suburbs almost one year ago due to a job change and city relocation. We are quickly learing of the advantages to living in the Burbs for this phase of our life. (small kids about to enter a great public school, lots of conservation areas, and some of the friendliest neighbours (Sorry, Canadian spelling) that I have ever met.) Prior to this move we lived in the downtown of a city and loved it.
I have needed the insight ‘Death by Suburb’ has provided and can’t figure out why anyone would think that by living in the burbs people can’t have or be in a wonderful relationship with Jesus. It doesn’t matter where you live, there will always be “things” that get in our way or challenges to living the way we should. We are never off the hook.
Thanks for writing the book. It has been a saving grace for me as I am embarking on keeping close to God as a new suburbanite.
Sincerely,
Katherine Siebert
June 27th, 2006 at 1:34 pm
David,
Have read the book twice thru and am begging my minister to use it as a sermon series.
With regards to the flight from the ‘burbs, it seems to be a form of spiritual snobbery to assume those of us here in the suburbs arn’t as deep and “thick”. I find these people to be in the same camp as militant homeshchoolers and those who sew their own clothes. The flight should be not from the geography of the burbs but from the mindset of the burbs. It is a fight and it is one worth hanging around for.
Your book cut right to my envious, competitive, judgemental self who hides all that nastiness very well. Thanks I think.
M
June 27th, 2006 at 4:09 pm
You have to be from the suburbs in order to fit into it completely and not think there might be something missing. It doesn’t matter whether one is from North Dakota or Chicago.
Being from Chicago I connect very well with those other transplants from the city and agree with them that people from Chicago are just friendlier and more open and willing to connect than people from the suburbs.
Living in a small town as I did years ago was an even more rude awakening. The problem there was that everyone had to know your business especially if they didn’t care for what you were doing, good or bad. Out in the suburbs it’s kind of the opposite, you feel like they don’t really see you.
The worst part about that is you get used to it and start to assimilate. One day you wake up and find that you are becomming the same way. You remember what you used to be like when you first moved out of the city. We never really completely loose our ability to connect with people or desire it, depending on how long we lived in the city. We remember when we meet others who are just like we used to be.
June 27th, 2006 at 9:33 pm
Dave -
When you were out here you said you’d met some “angry” people — about living in the suburbs.
I always have lived in a suburb, and I guess that’s me —
‘ Mr. Chip on his Shoulder about living in the suburbs.
So we’ve kind of “done it all”, Wheaton, inner City Chicago, Ft. Wayne, Houston, Stockton, now here La-mOrinda, (Glen Ellyn West Coast).
We raised our kids in the #1 Public School District in California for the same reason all young families sacrifice to move to the good Burbs, School District, School District, School District. Hasn’t been so bad tho … thanks to the local Church and the mission trips. Our kids did alright thanks to that Church (and a lot of prayer).
As the ultimate “chip on my shoulder” act — Would like to buy a couple thousand acres in Josephine Co. Oregon, and import a village of Amish to settle it and buy me out (”cept for my farmhouse with porchswing”).
I know why you want to sell out and move to Steamboat Springs.
Takes one to know one.
Good luck with THAT.
Hope Jana’s onboard.
June 28th, 2006 at 7:29 am
I know this is a wimpy answer, but I think whether to stay in the suburb or go wherever else has to be a prayerful decision based on your circumstance and the wisdom God has given you. All through the history of the church, some have advocated withdrawing from society, and some have advocated staying put and being salt and light. God needs and can use both.
June 28th, 2006 at 11:48 am
Wayne :
Not a wimpy answer at all. It is the correct one, and on the contrary … courageous.
Stepping into the unkown based on what your based sense tells you G_d, Jesus is telling YOU to do, in spite of your fear, takes some courage.
Takes Courage, even if it’s in the role of staying put to do the “Paying and Praying” as my Catholic Friends put it.
There’s always other courage.
Example: My “Little Brother”, once a Bar Fighting Oil Driller in New Mexico and Wyoming, GQ cover handsome, get’s saved through the influence of his weightlifting partner, get’s active in his local Church learns the Bible, runs the youth group, then leaves his “Career” gets a graduate degree in Bible, does short term mission in the Kashmire, the Amazon, then Long Term Mission work in Irian Jaya (just east of Papua).
He’s back now to take care of his little daughter stateside, for next 10-15 years, working a dayjob. I know he would rather be overseas, as a missionary.
Each step has taken courage, particularly the one to live in the suburbs for 15 years and be relevant as a Christian. I’ve watched him agonize with each decision.
The fact that we all don’t pray and sweat drops of blood over our decisions leads to probably feelings of “wimpy” and out of G_d’s will, like we took the path of least resistance, even if we did make the right decisions.
There’s people dying, right in your own town, kids going over the edge, families in Crisis, lonely people, people who are in jail, and the Hospital, people dying for some frank Bible teaching or small group fellowship.
I’m here, now. What am I to do today Lord ? Am I willing to do it ?
Sincerely,
Randall
July 3rd, 2006 at 9:16 pm
I’m a city girl who saw the effects of white flight in certain neighborhoods in the city. I have difficulty believing that choosing to stay in homogeneous neighborhoods, schools and churches is a biblical solution. What about Jesus announcment of his ministy to “…preach the gospel to the poor,…proclaim release to the captives …to free those who are downtroodden….” ? How does the suburbs afford the opportunity to do those aspects of Jesus ministry and to demonstrate to the world that in Christ there are no distinctions?
July 3rd, 2006 at 11:06 pm
Dave, you know that I have “fled the burbs,” but not for the intention of dilluting my poisoned body, mind and spirit. Since I’ve been re-enculturated into an inner-city context, I’ve learned the narrative of the gospel of Jesus Christ from different voices. What is wrong with a theology of staying in the burbs? It is simply this: if we only know the suburbs, we are not able to understand the implications that the gospel and our suburban lives have for our neighbor.
Do we flee? Absolutely not! The word “flee” carries the connotation of abandonment, which can be neglect of responsability and a mere biting of the hand that has fed us. Therefore, I believe that your premise is correct; we can escape the ‘burbs, but we cannot escape the sin nature.
Having said that, reading the gospels when I am surrounded by poverty has changed the way that I hear Jesus’ words. Now that I technically live below the poverty line, I have begun to understand what it means to have “choice.” I do not have the kinds of choices that I once had and, quite frankly, I have found this fact to be far more liberating that constricting. However, when I realize that I have the choice to jump back into the business world, put money back in my bank, get a car again, get a respectable apartment, etc., I understand a thing or two more about Isaiah and Jeremiah when they speak about justice. I have the choice to “get my life back,” but the least of these brothers and sisters that live all around have been afforded no such choice. The narrative of “justice” and “righteousness” found in the prophets takes on a whole new meaning.
When an architect draws up blueprints for a building, he or she will draw the building from every perspective imaginable. If builders were required to build based off of one perspective, we might find ourselves in a predicament. The same holds as vitally true for our understanding of the gospel message. Allen Verhey suggests in his book “Remember Jesus” that we must read Scripture in diverse community (among other things) if we are to understand the Scripture more fully.
It is hard work to begin to look at our faith from other perspectives, because it may shake the foundation of everything that we once believed. That is what seminary has done for me. But I believe that the hope of Christian discipleship is found in the pain and friction of pursuing that which is unnatural and uncomfortable to us. My God give us all persistence in pursuing him in all of his richness, especially that which convicts us.
July 8th, 2006 at 10:40 am
I don’t know where to begin. Death by Suburb has struck a chord in my soul that Wild at Heart, Halftime and the other Christian books directed to suburban, middle-age men didn’t do.
I’m out here in the suburbs…dying. Suffocating on the routines, the boredom, the struggle just to stay afloat financially. The seed has found its way into the thorns where the worries of this life and the deceitfulness of riches have choked it out. I spend more on lawn care than on the Kingdom of God.
I would flee tomorrow but I don’t know where to go. And I’m not sure that’s a solution.
July 10th, 2006 at 7:39 pm
One answer is to not spend on lawn care. I don’t. Yeah my grass is being taken over by whatever but at least I won’t die of herbicide and pesticide poisoning. Maybe it’s a statement about what I think about all this monotony of grass out here. There are some who plant flower gardens with native plants that don’t need tons of water and fertilizer that poison the environment. If my garden spot was in a sunnier location I’d go to town but I plant things anyway and try to work with it.
The rest will follow from there. There are more of you struggling financially and trying to look otherwise to keep up appearances than most realise. Ever see Oprah’s show on the debt diet? or the one about people who are living a lie? When I learn that someone in town is loosing their house or getting a divorce over money problems, it lends credence to what I’ve felt for 20 years since leaving college. That is, that what people have been paying for housing hasn’t been realistic since before 1980. We should only be buying houses that cost at most 3 times what we earn. That means, a person who makes 35,000 a year should only be buying a house that cost 80,000. That was the standard people and mortgage companies went by in the past before regulation went by the wayside.
What I saw was the opposite. I got to wondering where everyone’s brains went. Did we really think this could go on like this forever? I have never owned a house anywhere I lived. I’ve been waiting for the bottom to drop out of the housing market first. And to be able to afford a house period. People get real. Quit putting on a fantasy ideal for everyone else. If anyone really wants to know how the prices got to be so out of sight, check out the book “Creature from Jekyll Island” about the Federal Reserve Bank and it’s ability to control interest rates and especially the money supply. Raise the money supply and drop the overall value of the dollar. That’s the ticket. Your houses aren’t really worth 300,000. That is just this huge monopoly game called the economy and the money supply has been doubled and tripled to the point where it takes that as much more dollars to buy the same thing we paid only 1 dollar for in 1970. And by the way, the Federal Reserve act which was passed in 1913 by Wilson was unconstitutional as well. It created a central bank or cartel and allowed a few powerful people to control our money supply and economy.
If you check out all the reduced price signs all over lombard and elsewhere, you’ll see that the bubble or balloon is starting to pop. Stores are closing throughout Lombard as well (probably the walmart effect). It’s time to find comfort is something more real and necessary like the word of God.
July 10th, 2006 at 7:59 pm
Fight or Flight, I like that. I haven’t read the book, saw the review in Christianity Today and it struck a chord with me. The guy was kinda cynical mostly about this issue if I remember right. I was cynical about his review because the title hit me where I’m at right now. I’m in the midst of trying to decide where to hang my hat for the next little while and as a mid-20’s single I’m really torn. I love the country, the mountians and would love to be out there, buy my own little cabin, or better yet build. I’m torn though because I feel like God has called us as Christians to be a light and the light shines brighter where there’s more people in my opinion. It frustrates me though because these two desires conflict in me so much. It seems selfish of me to want to, say, move to Alaska because of the beautiful mountians and lakes, yet isn’t that part of my God given personality, that I like being in the great outdoors? Yet if that’s selfish then wouldn’t it be better to live in the city and feel somehow more righteous in my denial?
My recent ‘revelation’, if you will, has been this: How can I grow in my faith and encourage others where I’m at (without being cynical, snide, proud and escapist)? and 2nd, What expectations about how life should be do I need to let go of in order to live a life fullfilled in God dispite suburban sprawl?
In addition, I really do appreciate the “Toxin/cure” items on the sidelines of the main page. Those are things that I need to learn and perhaps help my friends to learn.
July 13th, 2006 at 7:43 am
If you consider the lives of John the Baptist, Jesus and many other of the prophets of the bible who were evangelists extroardinare, you will find that they didn’t live in cities or suburbs. Nor did they stay in one place for too long (Paul). They lived in the wilderness (Elijah as well) and preached in the cities. It made them far more successful in reaching the masses than those who lived in the cities (the Pharisees and Saducess) and tried to give what they hadn’t recieved (light and spiritual food) to others. It works the same way in todays world. A true missionary who is following God’s leading and putting himself in a place where God can reach him to the fullest (the wilderness or country), will have alot more spiritual food to give when he returns to the city to share new light with the teeming masses in need of a physician. On that note, I would also add that since our bodies are the temple of the holy spirit, what we put into them matters as much as where we put them physically when it comes to preparing ourselves to recieve food from the holy spirit. Check out the health laws in the books of Deuteronomy and Daniel chapter 2.
July 13th, 2006 at 9:39 pm
I also have not read the book, just the CT review. It is refreshing to me because I am a missionary in a city in Siberia, but living in the suburbs of Denver for the summer. Every time we return, there are many layers of re-entry culture shock. But now, gratefully housesitting a big house on a cul-de-sac, and having preschool age children, I have experienced new highs and lows. While I love the greenbelts, open space, and abundance of clean playgrounds, I feel stifled by the privacy fences and apparant lack of socio-economic and racial diversity. I say apparant, because I occasionally see others who at least appear different, but have no hope of ever seeing them again. There is no communal gathering place, no way to even meet the neighbors along my back fence.
In answer to the author’s question, I would say that there is nothing spiritual about geography. Where is He calling you? Go there. But if you are called to live in the suburbs, then you are called there for a purpose. Perhaps to fight the internal battle against self, perhaps to reach those poor (though in big houses) or imprisoned (by addictions, chemical or material). I know God wants us to be lights, and the lights must be near to the people. Someone is called to reach the people living in the suburbs! When you receive your neighborhood as a calling, it gives context to the ‘culture stress’ you experience as a stranger in the world, and also reminds you not to assimilate into the non-Christian worldview.
If we moved back to the States long-term, I’d hope to live in a neighborhood with more diversity, and no privacy fences! In Russia, I know that we are strangers, and that our children won’t have every need or desire met by our neighborhood school. So I’d need to keep that perspective here, as well. But for those now in the suburbs, the spiritual practices mentioned in the book seem like a good start. From those, I believe God will lead you as you are willing, whether to receive your neighborhood as your mission field, or to move to another.
July 14th, 2006 at 4:31 pm
Dave,
Thought I might could provide a little perspective. Last summer we moved from a suburban church ministry into the heart of a certain big city very close to you (does that sound evasive enough?). The pastor there speaks regularly of the superiority of gritty-city living, and how the burbs are such a cop-out and are all about pleasing the self. So he challenged us to live the real Christian life in the inner city, and we took him up on it.
Well, it is summer again, and now we are back in the suburbs, already serving on a different church staff (I’m a worship guy). I would like to posit a few quick things we learned from our experience. One, that living the Christian life is tough anywhere, and there are great Christians in the burbs as well as the city. Two, there is nothing noble about ministering one place, and nothing wimpy about going to another. It is a matter of being Jesus wherever God has called you. And three, don’t put too much stock in your location. Surprisingly, we adapted well enough to inner-city life, but chaffed against an extreme legalism we found in our church. While we had thought the challenge would be living in the city, it turns out we could have found just as oppressive of a church in the suburbs…and saved ourselves the move!
So here we are, a little tired of moving, but hopefully wiser. I guess my point is that while we do need to be careful to avoid the traps that Satan sets for us to feed the self, know that those traps are there in the city as well as the suburbs - only with fewer chances to go to the Pottery Barn!
Best,
Dave
July 15th, 2006 at 4:14 pm
Dave,
What I find troubling is the idea that geography doesn’t matter–as if the physical world didn’t impact our spirituality. In your book you say, “There’s not much use in moralizing about [the suburban life], mocking it, thumbing your nose at it, treating it with light disdain—or sacrificing your way out of it (I’ll drop everything and become a missionary or move to a Wisconsin cabin to live the simple life).” Well I can say from personal experience that leaving the USA and moving to the Dominican Republic was of much use to me. While it is true that our Christian life is one of exile wherever we are, actually being an exile has deeply enriched (”thickened”) my life. In coming here my eyes were opened to how “soft” life is in the USA, how it lulls us to spiritual sleep, how it hides the poor from our eyes, how it lifts up the idols of youth and sex and money, how it undermines community, how it demands privacy–and loneliness, and how it demands busyness.
I agree that those Christians that stay in the suburbs need to reimagine the good life and practice both the contemplative and active spiritual disciplines in order to avoid “death by suburb.” But I don’t want the option of exile (a better word than “flight”) to be so lightly dismissed either. Geography can make a big difference in our spiritual health–it certainly has for me.
Peace,
Glenn
July 17th, 2006 at 8:53 am
Dave,
I started the book and really appreciate it. Those that say you can only live the christian life well in the city or in a rural area are just fooling themselves. Certainly a change of scenery can be useful since it gets us out of our comfort zone. But that alone will only have a temporary effect if we don’t face that fact that our sinfulness comes from within.
I have lived most of my life in the ‘burbs, but I have to admit I get tired of so many of my neighbors acting as though luxuries are necessities. As though their home, which is bigger than mine, is too small and so they have to move. Or it’s time to get a new care because this one if five years old.
But not everyone is like that and to be honest, when I lived in the country, I did not find people to be more authentic or more christian, or even more friendly. There was just as much pressure to conform. The standards were simply different. I did not find any significant difference in my own spiritual life either.
What I appreciate is the fact that you recognize something that I have known since I was a teen. No matter where you go, you take yourself along your true character will always show itself in time.
God Bless,
Christine
July 22nd, 2006 at 5:14 am
I feel called to the burbs but at times I’d like to get out. Its very difficult living a life of discipleship in consumersville. I am as vulnerble as anyone to temptation.
Our church is called Upstream Communities because we believe it is our callig to swim against the flow of the dominat culture - yet to do it while still within the stream.
I like the idea of understanding the gospel better by re-locating, but so far that’s not our journey…
July 22nd, 2006 at 7:09 am
Dave:
I read your book this week…and it was a soothing salve for my aching soul. Believe it or not, the ‘burbs exist right here in Wisconsin!!! (I suppose that to escape them one must go even further “nort” as the cheeseheads say).
Your description of the burbs is both pointed in its critique and thick in its recognition of the pathos that permeates this strange land of polite, high strung overachievers who confuse the Gospel with one more choice in the myriad of self-improvement regimes.
I’ve been the pastor of a church here in the ‘burbs of Milwaukee for the past two years…the frenetic activity level of members of the parish I serve (particularly those with children) leaves my head in a spin. The notion of “family” (and the associated commitment to creating an image of a “perfect” one) borders on idolatrous.
Your honesty in wrestling with the idea that staying in the burbs could be a spiritual practice resonated with me as I continue to wonder how on earth I can work here for another month let alone for the years that might be required for anyone to notice that I’m here (your story about Thanksgiving/Christmas dinners with your wife’s family was particularly helpful in this regard).
In my denomination, we have a saying that’s almost a cliche: “there are no easy answers”. I think this is particularly true with regards to the contradictions that are woven throughout the suburban experience of something that, from time to time, vaguely resembles Christianity (but mostly appears to be a Kiwanis Club with a crucifix).
“Staying put” as spiritual practice may not be the right option for everyone, but for the time being that appears to be my call. Thank you for giving me some tools to work toward connecting with this congregation “where they live” (literally and spiritually).
August 19th, 2006 at 4:24 pm
Dave:
I’m a bit confused by the people WAITING, wondering how to do Ministry in the suburbs. I grew up in Batavia, lived in Wheaton went to college downtown Chicago, have lived East Coast, Texas Gulf Coast and now California, married a missionary kid.
Same (basic) language, regional diferrences, same country, same (basic) human nature.
Living in this country at this time we are on the top of the heap of history. Middle Class, working class, Nouve Riche or Blue Blood, comes with certain priveleges and certain Responsibilities.
Coming from Northern Illinois Farm Country, it was only natural to want my children to grow up to assume responsibility, respect others, love G_D, eschew evil.
If they loved us that was a bonus but ultimately it was the respect for G_d and others that was important to me, pretty similar to most “old school” midwesterners.
We had one son that was a hard case, a real hard case. I had to put him in real jail, yes it was me who took the action to put him there. It was painful, I lost a good business doing it and it almost cost the marriage. Today we respect each other and are close. He’ s leaving his work to serve in a mission in N. California for a year.
There are kids and families in crisis coming apart all over the suburbs. We never got a call from anyone in the Church community and it was well known, it took 3 years before seeing any daylight.
I have two students at Wheaton, one just graduated and is working at Franklin/Templeton Funds over in San Mateo, one is a junior entering nursing next year. She just got back from a summer mission in Africa to orphans; taking care of boys brought out of Islamic Slavery.
She has been serving in Missions in this very wealthy suburb here since Jr. High. So it was a natural extension.
There are people in the suburbs in Crisis every day, if you look behind the mask. Many people are sincerely grateful if you just pray with them over the phone, in the grocery checkout, or invite them into your small group Bible study in somebody’s home.
It’s messy, uncomfortable and sometimes ugly timeconsuming & exhausting to get involved in other people’s business when they’re hurting.
I recall Jesus got some heat for associating with prostitute’s and tax collectors. Those people live in your town too, many of them are under 18 tho quite a few over.
Some of them had their lives changed by the Holy Spirit.
… Living in this country we are on the top of the heap of History, economically. What is it you want me to do today, Lord ?
August 23rd, 2006 at 7:04 am
It’s interesting that those that say they’ve moved and/or worked with those in a very economically depressed area say that it has changed them immensely and deepened their faith. I can see how that would be true, but don’t most of those folks know deep in their hearts that they could “escape” that as well? They are not trapped in the endless grind of poverty that others are, and knowing you have an escape hatch taints how well you “empathize” with the downtrodden.
August 25th, 2006 at 12:48 pm
I recall a similar comment made by Philip Yancey, who remarked that, after writing an article about a prayer breakfast he attended with Bill Clinton, received more angry letters than he had ever received in his entire writing career.
i’m afraid that balance continues to be the most difficult state to attain for christians today. i’ve attempted to balance my need for my family to be secure (burb life) with God’s requirement that I stay away from the bubble (get out THERE).
i suppose that the hard thing to do is to work each day at balancing my will and desires with the Lord’s, somehow managing to be a light in a dark world. The easy route, i suppose, would be to choose one side of the scale, and hope for the best.
September 27th, 2006 at 1:59 pm
Dave, I think “bloom where you’re planted” is a good way to deal with suburban life. Children are a major factor for many folk’s decision to live there. Relative safety, good schools (who makes a choice if they can help it not to send their children to a good school?), a little elbow room. Of course there are negatives to living there, but Jesus is just as needed there as elsewhere. Being financially healthy does not necessarily go hand in hand with being spiritually healthy. In fact, there may be more resistance to seeking spiritual health. Look around Sunday morning to see how many cars never leave the driveway. I have lived in my neighborhood long enough to know that every family has a cross to bear.