i’m afraid that balance continues to be the most difficult state to attain for christians today. i’ve attempted to balance my need for my family to be secure (burb life) with God’s requirement that I stay away from the bubble (get out THERE).

i suppose that the hard thing to do is to work each day at balancing my will and desires with the Lord’s, somehow managing to be a light in a dark world. The easy route, i suppose, would be to choose one side of the scale, and hope for the best.

I’m a bit confused by the people WAITING, wondering how to do Ministry in the suburbs. I grew up in Batavia, lived in Wheaton went to college downtown Chicago, have lived East Coast, Texas Gulf Coast and now California, married a missionary kid.

Same (basic) language, regional diferrences, same country, same (basic) human nature.

Living in this country at this time we are on the top of the heap of history. Middle Class, working class, Nouve Riche or Blue Blood, comes with certain priveleges and certain Responsibilities.

Coming from Northern Illinois Farm Country, it was only natural to want my children to grow up to assume responsibility, respect others, love G_D, eschew evil.

If they loved us that was a bonus but ultimately it was the respect for G_d and others that was important to me, pretty similar to most “old school” midwesterners.

We had one son that was a hard case, a real hard case. I had to put him in real jail, yes it was me who took the action to put him there. It was painful, I lost a good business doing it and it almost cost the marriage. Today we respect each other and are close. He’ s leaving his work to serve in a mission in N. California for a year.

There are kids and families in crisis coming apart all over the suburbs. We never got a call from anyone in the Church community and it was well known, it took 3 years before seeing any daylight.

I have two students at Wheaton, one just graduated and is working at Franklin/Templeton Funds over in San Mateo, one is a junior entering nursing next year. She just got back from a summer mission in Africa to orphans; taking care of boys brought out of Islamic Slavery.

She has been serving in Missions in this very wealthy suburb here since Jr. High. So it was a natural extension.

There are people in the suburbs in Crisis every day, if you look behind the mask. Many people are sincerely grateful if you just pray with them over the phone, in the grocery checkout, or invite them into your small group Bible study in somebody’s home.

It’s messy, uncomfortable and sometimes ugly timeconsuming & exhausting to get involved in other people’s business when they’re hurting.

I recall Jesus got some heat for associating with prostitute’s and tax collectors. Those people live in your town too, many of them are under 18 tho quite a few over.

Some of them had their lives changed by the Holy Spirit.

… Living in this country we are on the top of the heap of History, economically. What is it you want me to do today, Lord ?

I read your book this week…and it was a soothing salve for my aching soul. Believe it or not, the ‘burbs exist right here in Wisconsin!!! (I suppose that to escape them one must go even further “nort” as the cheeseheads say).

Your description of the burbs is both pointed in its critique and thick in its recognition of the pathos that permeates this strange land of polite, high strung overachievers who confuse the Gospel with one more choice in the myriad of self-improvement regimes.

I’ve been the pastor of a church here in the ‘burbs of Milwaukee for the past two years…the frenetic activity level of members of the parish I serve (particularly those with children) leaves my head in a spin. The notion of “family” (and the associated commitment to creating an image of a “perfect” one) borders on idolatrous.

Your honesty in wrestling with the idea that staying in the burbs could be a spiritual practice resonated with me as I continue to wonder how on earth I can work here for another month let alone for the years that might be required for anyone to notice that I’m here (your story about Thanksgiving/Christmas dinners with your wife’s family was particularly helpful in this regard).

In my denomination, we have a saying that’s almost a cliche: “there are no easy answers”. I think this is particularly true with regards to the contradictions that are woven throughout the suburban experience of something that, from time to time, vaguely resembles Christianity (but mostly appears to be a Kiwanis Club with a crucifix).

“Staying put” as spiritual practice may not be the right option for everyone, but for the time being that appears to be my call. Thank you for giving me some tools to work toward connecting with this congregation “where they live” (literally and spiritually).

Our church is called Upstream Communities because we believe it is our callig to swim against the flow of the dominat culture – yet to do it while still within the stream.

I like the idea of understanding the gospel better by re-locating, but so far that’s not our journey…

I started the book and really appreciate it. Those that say you can only live the christian life well in the city or in a rural area are just fooling themselves. Certainly a change of scenery can be useful since it gets us out of our comfort zone. But that alone will only have a temporary effect if we don’t face that fact that our sinfulness comes from within.

I have lived most of my life in the ‘burbs, but I have to admit I get tired of so many of my neighbors acting as though luxuries are necessities. As though their home, which is bigger than mine, is too small and so they have to move. Or it’s time to get a new care because this one if five years old.

But not everyone is like that and to be honest, when I lived in the country, I did not find people to be more authentic or more christian, or even more friendly. There was just as much pressure to conform. The standards were simply different. I did not find any significant difference in my own spiritual life either.

What I appreciate is the fact that you recognize something that I have known since I was a teen. No matter where you go, you take yourself along your true character will always show itself in time.

God Bless,

Christine

What I find troubling is the idea that geography doesn’t matter–as if the physical world didn’t impact our spirituality. In your book you say, “There’s not much use in moralizing about [the suburban life], mocking it, thumbing your nose at it, treating it with light disdain—or sacrificing your way out of it (I’ll drop everything and become a missionary or move to a Wisconsin cabin to live the simple life).” Well I can say from personal experience that leaving the USA and moving to the Dominican Republic was of much use to me. While it is true that our Christian life is one of exile wherever we are, actually being an exile has deeply enriched (”thickened”) my life. In coming here my eyes were opened to how “soft” life is in the USA, how it lulls us to spiritual sleep, how it hides the poor from our eyes, how it lifts up the idols of youth and sex and money, how it undermines community, how it demands privacy–and loneliness, and how it demands busyness.

I agree that those Christians that stay in the suburbs need to reimagine the good life and practice both the contemplative and active spiritual disciplines in order to avoid “death by suburb.” But I don’t want the option of exile (a better word than “flight”) to be so lightly dismissed either. Geography can make a big difference in our spiritual health–it certainly has for me.

Peace,
Glenn

Thought I might could provide a little perspective. Last summer we moved from a suburban church ministry into the heart of a certain big city very close to you (does that sound evasive enough?). The pastor there speaks regularly of the superiority of gritty-city living, and how the burbs are such a cop-out and are all about pleasing the self. So he challenged us to live the real Christian life in the inner city, and we took him up on it.

Well, it is summer again, and now we are back in the suburbs, already serving on a different church staff (I’m a worship guy). I would like to posit a few quick things we learned from our experience. One, that living the Christian life is tough anywhere, and there are great Christians in the burbs as well as the city. Two, there is nothing noble about ministering one place, and nothing wimpy about going to another. It is a matter of being Jesus wherever God has called you. And three, don’t put too much stock in your location. Surprisingly, we adapted well enough to inner-city life, but chaffed against an extreme legalism we found in our church. While we had thought the challenge would be living in the city, it turns out we could have found just as oppressive of a church in the suburbs…and saved ourselves the move!

So here we are, a little tired of moving, but hopefully wiser. I guess my point is that while we do need to be careful to avoid the traps that Satan sets for us to feed the self, know that those traps are there in the city as well as the suburbs – only with fewer chances to go to the Pottery Barn!

Best,

Dave

In answer to the author’s question, I would say that there is nothing spiritual about geography. Where is He calling you? Go there. But if you are called to live in the suburbs, then you are called there for a purpose. Perhaps to fight the internal battle against self, perhaps to reach those poor (though in big houses) or imprisoned (by addictions, chemical or material). I know God wants us to be lights, and the lights must be near to the people. Someone is called to reach the people living in the suburbs! When you receive your neighborhood as a calling, it gives context to the ‘culture stress’ you experience as a stranger in the world, and also reminds you not to assimilate into the non-Christian worldview.

If we moved back to the States long-term, I’d hope to live in a neighborhood with more diversity, and no privacy fences! In Russia, I know that we are strangers, and that our children won’t have every need or desire met by our neighborhood school. So I’d need to keep that perspective here, as well. But for those now in the suburbs, the spiritual practices mentioned in the book seem like a good start. From those, I believe God will lead you as you are willing, whether to receive your neighborhood as your mission field, or to move to another.